Having three sons I've heard my share of tattling. My sons also know that tattling is a sure way to get into dad's or mom's doghouse. If one of my boys is not risking his safety or someone else's safety their responsibility is to have their brother's back, not to rat them out. It's a lesson that they have a hard time learning, even when the tattler gets punished and the tattlee does not. Hopefully eventually they will completely learn the lesson.

Tonight was one of those nights where the people who plan stuff get together to see how they can make the boy's mother and me pull our hair out. Kellan had a game he needed to be at at 5:30. Travis's Back to School Night was also at 5:30. The two locations were far enough apart that it was difficult to get everyone where they needed to be in a timely fashion. In addition, the man providing dinner (me) ended up waiting in line at Wendy's for ten plus minutes throwing the entire schedule off.

Jennifer and I both went to Back to School Night. Our thinking on that was Travis only has three of those left and Kellan has lots and lots of soccer games left. I had to leave the high school and go pick Kellan up after the game and return with him to the high school. The game was just ending when I pulled into the parking lot at the school where he was playing. I got out and wandered over to his team to listen to the coaches post-game briefing. I didn't see the game, I don't know the tale of the tape, I'm not sure what interactions happened during the game. I do know what I saw and heard after the game.

While I was there the coach for the Centennial U-11 team came over and started talking to one of the dads. I didn't catch what he said until the very end, fortunately Kellan's coach asked him if there was a problem and the coach repeated what he said, "I just wanted you to know that one of your boys wouldn't shake hands with our boys after the game." I was stunned. Here was a grown man ratting out a ten year-old to his coach. I bit my tongue and didn't say a thing, but I really wanted to. I wanted to tell this coach just how impressed I was by the fact that he was ratting out this player.

The whole concept of "sportsmanship" that they think they're teaching the kids these days is one of the most repugnant things I have ever heard of. It's bothered me since Travis started playing ten years ago. We force this kids to stand in line and shake hands and lie after every game. "Good game, good game, good game...." What a load of crap! What if it wasn't a good game? What if the guy you're shaking hands with tripped you and pushed you the entire game? What if you tripped and pushed him?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of good sportsmanship. I believe that we should teach our kids to be good sports. I love seeing a player who was tripped helped back up by the guy who tripped him. I love it when a team realizes they should not have possession of the ball and purposely kicks it out of bounds to turn it over. Watching friends from competing teams greet each other after a game is a great thing. Listening to players acknowledge the the other team was better when they lose or acknowledge the efforts of other players are all very good things. But forcing players to shake hands, forcing them to tell the other team "good game." is not good sportsmanship, it's forcing kids to act the way we believe they should act, not teaching them to act the way we believe they should act.

So what lesson did that Centennial coach teach Kellan's team tonight? I know this it certainly wasn't one I want my son to learn.